#im really disappointed that i couldnt find a photo of one of these as a hatchling and laugh my ass off at it

[obscure-entity]

Its critter time >:] Today I give you the Thick Billed Raven (Corvus crassirostris)

OH I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE. they look so pompous. i wanted to search how tall they are (their body just looks kind of stilty like that) and did not get an answer but i like this sound they make. you could kind of look at them and tell they make at least 1 funny sound

normal civilized conversation

[insanefastone]

it was a lot easier to ask for things for christmas when i was younger. i was five, so if i was shown a toy i probably would say i wanted it. being a five year old, i mostly cared about the receiving part - a stuffed dog, a bucket of tiny horses, a playmobil train, didn’t really matter, it was mine now. a few years later pokemon began airing on tv and anything with pikachu on it was guaranteed to be a hit. im unsure of the occasion but i remember being given literal math practice books at some point and loving doing my additions and multiplications because they were pokemon themed. it was truly so, so easy.

then i got a little older and my desires started to get a little more complex. pikachus were still pretty cool and all but i wasnt happy with just any toy anymore: i cared about my cartoons and the things i saw in commercials, and so i would ask for those things. i knew about super soakers, and nerf guns, and moon shoes, and sock ‘em boppers, but i also knew the difference between, say, a stuffed animal of a brown dog and one of scooby doo. i knew disappointment, too, because i could tell when i was handed something in lieu of the other. at the time i couldnt have possibly understood why the substitutions got made, but i could see when it happened.

then i got a little older and developed hobbies and preferences. i had opinions on things, i had feelings, and i started to learn how to express these ideas. i could articulate why one thing could not be a substitute for another, and how i felt when it was handed to me anyway, and also what i thought about being given a great many things i did not ask for instead of those that i did. i became frustrated with clothes and socks and other such things because i knew that when i needed them we could go get them. they didnt feel special or thoughtful. they seemed like an excuse to have one more box to hand me, one more thing to play coy about, one more thing to ooh and aah at and take photos of when i eventually held it up. and so the ideals of gift-giving began to erode.

of course, i hadnt quite learned of the whys. they were specifically kept from me, and from my sisters, so we could play family (as it were). theyre pretty evident now, knowing what i know as i type this, but at the time things kind of just. crumbled away. there were some nice surprises where the spirit felt alive and real, like the year we received ipod nanos. (3rd gen, i think? they were skinny but still had a touch wheel with the button in the center.) i remember crying incoherently as i held mine, and i also remember my entire family being stunned and confused (they clearly hadnt expected that reaction either). i think i was simply overwhelmed to have been given such a nice thing after coming to expect disappointment.

there was also the year we were given the gamecube, and our game boy advance sps, but they didnt feel as special because we knew it was mostly since an older cousin had given us her super nintendo and our parents wanted us to entertain ourselves. it actually led to a lot of frustration that our parents didnt attempt to understand, because you cannot do ‘similar to’ with a video game unless you actually bother to find out what it is. which really started to highlight what felt weird about the gift-giving all those years: whose thoughts, exactly, have gone into this ‘thoughtful’ gift?

it’s a hard question to answer, and really depends on who you are talking to. this being tumblr, i can assume someone reading is familiar with ‘i see a cool bug/rock/blorbo’ -> ‘i send it to my cool bug/rock/blorbo friend’. it’s kind of ingrained in the culture. but we also (largely) understand that theres variance and specialty within these categories, that not all blorbos are the same, and that most blorbos are very different, actually, to the point where people debate what constitutes an ‘actual’ representation of the ones they care about. but theres also people that dont care that deeply and are mostly only there because their friend is, or because they like the character’s design, or any number of other reasons, and knowing where to meet them on their interest kind of requires knowing more than just ‘oh they like this’.

and so we get disconnects, and misunderstandings, and disappointment, and frustration. and we get not knowing why one thing is ok but another isnt, or why you can interchange two things but this third one is unacceptable, it seems like theres no way of knowing but could you have known? was this there all along? did i skip i question or, more importantly, pass on an answer i was given? and so i think upon such things. and i see where things could have diverged, or evidence thereof. and i consider that to give and receive not only requires two, but also a connection to have been made. ‘oh!’ you might say, ‘that mug has a pikachu and some snowflakes on it! i always send something with a pikachu, this will be that this year!’ and you mail it and it sits on my shelf, unused. collecting dust. i dont even use it to store anything.

and so i began seeing what the thoughts were. i saw that i was given twelve balls of yarn in six different colors because theyre fun and aesthetically pleasing, but the thought did not contain ‘this is not enough of an individual color to make anything larger than hat and scarf’. i saw i was given a shirt that says ‘# serf life’ on it because it was meant as a family joke and i do think it is a funny shirt to wear, but the thought did not contain how i felt about what the joke references at the time it became a ‘joke’. i saw i was given some books i had asked for by title and volume number because i have been trying to get the entire out-of-print series, but the thought did not contain ‘i wonder why candy only ever asks for these specific books’. over several years i saw i was given many books that are similar to but not within the series (or even genre) i was obsessed with because they get sorted together as ‘humorous coffee table nonfiction’ at bookstores, but the thought did not contain what i liked about that series (trivia compilations), why i stopped reading that series (poorly verified), or why i had nothing to say about most of the previously gifted books.

and it goes on. years of this. we even do a grand show of sharing our christmas lists with each other, and fussing about getting under one roof to share them, and making a whole ceremony (complete with photographs) of opening everything, and sharing ‘oh i was at this place and thought of you when i saw it’, and it goes round and round and round and i am always just sitting there wondering if the next thing thats handed to me will actually have me in mind or it will simply be ‘thoughtful’.

i just dont know what to ask for christmas anymore.

[x1uizy]

i still have to watch ep 3 (although i did watch a pretty detailed recap) but let me update my votes & picks for the final group!

let me just say that there were some valuable face cards eliminated in ep2 and they will be missed. i swear ryou kaito had so much potential!!! i really hope he gets picked up by some company 🙏

voting list:

^ still my big three, not much else to say. i watched hangyul's fancam and he did great, as usual. we love a REAL IDOL. junhyuk also did super well, im really happy with his performance!! the vocalists on his team were kinda...rough though....(haven't seen the episode so i dont know why minjae didnt take a singing part....). disappointed that [spoiler redacted] but it seems like he'll be okay. i need to see the full hylt stage but it seemed a little rough tbh. but part of my judgement is because they boygroup-ified it. i thought we were past that honestly. he xilong did alright but he seemed a bit uncomfortable onstage? looking forward to his performance next round

^ i added zai to my voting list on a whim but this singular photo has made me decide that he must debut. look at that face card. that's a future exo 2.0 member you heard it here first folks

^ i don't remember when or why i started voting for pentor but i like him and i want him to stay top 9. we love diversity and we love former idols getting second chances

^ shao ziheng is still my ideal center candidate but the stylists need to sit down and figure his face out. hes a good looking guy but some of this styling does him no justice and he can't get to polaris under these conditions!!

^ voting for syo until the end idgaffff

^ han jeongwoo would be a good addition to this group probably but i think he has a bright future in kpop. he gives kq, although he's probably too old by kpop standards to join their next bg project which probably wont be for awhile. im just voting for his talent, although he hasn't really gripped me yet

^ i enjoyed sun jiayang's improvement arc. sue me

> semi-realistic final group

so this is the group i feel we're being directed to want and i have no problems with it honestly because this is pretty much a gag. i would cry tears of joy, like welcome back exo & welcome to the survival show hall of fame! HOWEVER. it remains to be seen how yang dongwha's past will impact his rank. the production clearly wants him and it makes definitely makes sense as to why - he fits the heavy hitters on the show perfectly. but it looks like they may need to find another trainee to build a narrative around if it seems like ydw will be more of a risk than an asset. personally i cant assess the situation because everyone i've seen is just super opinionated one way or another and the facts are confusing & twisted. because of that i can't vote for him (i voted for him for a little while before i knew) but im also not gonna bash him bc like. i just dont know. it does also say something to me that the production even allowed him on the show and is treating him as kindly as they are. is it deserved? that, i can't really know, but it is a factor in how im reading the situation

> others to think about

^ he xilong is still one of my top picks but i ended up not putting him in my lineup because i think he has potential to be scouted for a boy group. he's 24 but he looks so young, sings well, and will have popularity from this show. he should have no problem debuting after this. that said, i do think he could work in this group though, he has a different vibe but not so different that it couldnt be reconciled. also his rank has shifted between 9 & 10 thus far, so just in-just out of the debut seats.

^ lee daeul is rank 8 and has been pretty consistent, but i really do believe that this isnt the group for him. i couldn't see how it was shaping up at first but now that i have i think he'll be way more successful with his fanbase in korea. im a little surprised that he went for a survival show again almost immediately after boys planet. i dont think he fits here and i cant predict how is rank will unfold throughout the show. it wouldn't be so bad if he made it, but i think he would have a brighter future if he didnt make it honestly

^ minjae is rank 9 right now, replacing he xilong. i think minjae is one of the more talented trainees on this show. but once again, not the group for him. it's about the image and the market and i dont fully see it. that said, contradicting myself a bit, i think he could have a lot of potential in china, just looking at liu guanyou and liuyu (chuang 2021 center).

^ xinche is ranked a bit lower than the others here, but the production is directing him like they want him to debut really really badly. i must have softened to visual picks over the years or something because i dont even hate him lmfao. i actually think that he could make for an interesting dynamic in the final group above, even if it's hard to imagine him dancing next to hangyul (or dancing at all tbh). do i think he *should* debut?? no, probably not. but figuring that this group would be mostly active in china, i feel like they mostly end up as brand ambassadors more than musicians anyways so it wouldnt be the worst thing in the world. if he can break out of the doll characterization and show a little growth, why not honestly (unless i get a new pick thats in danger of elimination, then all bets are off). xinche is such that if he doesnt debut here i cant imagine him trying again or debuting elsewhere. but who knows honestly

reviving this blog for starlight boys & maybe chuang asia/universe league/project 7 too 😋

[multifandom-kpop-scenarios]

hello, hello! i absolutely love your scenarioes, rex! especially the werewolf mingyu one! i couldnt decide wether to send a request or not, but im a carat and monbebe, so could i reqeest a vampire kihyun one (hes a vamp)? if it could be sort of angsty? i really appreciate this! dont worry about how long it takes, im okay with waiting for your beautiful writing. ps could i be moncarat anon? i think ill request from you guys again. sending love ~ 💖💖💖

Hello, moncarat anon!!! I’m really glad that you enjoyed the werewolf Mingyu scenario! I know you said not to worry about it, but I am sorry for the wait. I know this one wasn’t requested for the Halloween special, but I figured that this would be a great way to start it! I used Monsta X’s ‘Someone’s Someone’ for inspiration in writing this!

Without further ado, our Halloween Special begins!!!

Admin Rex

(Word Count: 1260)

You met him in the late evening of a warm Fall day. He was holding a camera up, pointing it towards a mostly empty park. At that point in the day, the sun was almost fully set. You hadn’t really noticed him until you saw what was left of the sunlight reflecting off of his light purple hair. He didn’t seem to notice or mind your presence. You watched him for a bit as he wandered around the park, aiming his camera lense at things you wouldn’t really think to look twice at. He paused for a bit, looking through the photos he’d taken before looking around. His eyes met yours. You chose to smile and wave not waiting for a response before turning away. The sun was setting quite low, and you didn’t really want to stay out once the sun was fully down. 

The second time you meet him is in a convenience store near the park. He has his camera bag hanging off one shoulder and is browsing the selection of drinks. You notice him as you scan the snacks the little store has. You watch him for a few seconds, curiosity piqued for some reason. You turn your attention from him and continue looking for snacks to eat on your way home. You pick a few things out, turning to maybe grab a water bottle. You’re surprised to see that he hasn’t left yet and is now watching you, though it appears he’s trying to be subtle about it. You smile small and dip your head to him in greeting. He returns the gesture, eyes watching you curiously. You return your gaze, rushing to the check-out counter. While the cashier is ringing you up, you turn your eyes to the glass doors, noting how low the sun was getting. You finish pulling the change out, quickly leaving the store. You glance over your shoulder one last time, eyes meeting the man’s once again.

You had become curious about why the photographer captured what he did. The third time you encounter him, you tell yourself, you’ll talk to him. That is, if there is a third time. For a while, it seemed you wouldn’t have a chance to meet him again. The sun had begun to set sooner and sooner, now with summer fully over. You had been heading home slightly earlier than usual, as you couldn’t stay out at night. You would if it were physically possible, but it was not for you. Álfar are closely linked to the sun, and to nature, and, as an Álf, you needed as much sun and warmth as you could get. The flowers that naturally grew in your hair would wilt, as would you.  You were surprised when you walked past a few food vendors that lined the street and saw familiar strands of light purple hair. He was dressed in clothing that almost fully covered his whole body. Only the skin of his face was showing. You examined the person as you walked closer, noticing that it was indeed the person you encountered twice before. You wanted to talk to him, but you didn’t have a reason to. As you slowly walked past him, you heard a soft, “Ah, hey!” and felt a tap on your shoulder. You turn around, surprised at the turn of events.

“I was hoping to see you. You left this at the convenience store.” You looked down at his hand, surprised when you saw the book he was holding out to you. It was one of your favorites, and you were resolved to never finding your copy and having to buy a new one. You gently took the book, “Thank you. I was worried that I’d never find it.” You looked down at the cover, feeling your body beginning to shiver, “I should go.” You waited for his response, surprised when he sounded almost disappointed. You quickly left, not looking back. 

You run into him a few more times. You learned that his name is Kihyun, that he is a photographer who has held exhibits before, that he and you could never be together. To say that you’d grown fond of him would be an understatement. You’ve come to like him very much in the short times you ran into one another in the golden hour just as the sun was setting below the horizon of the city. You understood that you could never stay with him the moment you learned that he is a vampire. Of course, you’d never feel this way over someone’s species. In fact, you never really cared for it. Instead, your body physically would not be able to. Kihyun had once asked about the flowers that seemingly grew alongside you hair. You had to explain to him that it was common for your species. He seemed entranced, gently reaching out and tracing the petal of a striped carnation, I wish I could be with you. 

A few days later, when you meet again during the golden hour, he asks you, “Have you heard of álfröðull?” You peer at his face curiously and shake your head no. He smiles softly, “It means ‘elf disc.’ That’s what the sun was supposedly called by the Álfar long ago.” You could hear the sentimentality in his voice. As a vampire, he must have been around for a long time. You looked up at the sky, to where the sky was painted in warm oranges. You wished the breeze was as warm.

On the next day you meet, it’s especially cool. You bundled up, hoping to be able to meet with Kihyun again, even if for a short time. Kihyun is holding a single flower when you spot him at the park. You recognize it as a daffodil. You liked them. They reminded you of the sun. When you reach him, Kihyun smiles small, shyly handing the single bloom to you. “Someone once told me that these mean something about the sun. It reminded me of you.” Now, daffodils would remind you of Kihyun, The sun is always shining when I’m with you.

You ask Kihyun later if he knows anything of the language of flowers. “I know of some,” he responds. He smiles at you, wide and almost devious. “I’d have to say the tiger lily is my favorite.” You nod in understanding. They fit Kihyun well. He asks you for yours, “The tea rose,” I’ll always remember.

Kihyun shows you his some of his photos one day. They seem bleak, almost sad. Longing. It makes your heart ache. Until he gets to the most recent pictures. They look like colors have bloomed in them. You also note that there are flowers in quite a few of them. Kihyun shows you his favorite picture. The foreground is a cluster of yellow tulips, There is sunshine in your smile. 

Kihyun has to leave, he tells you. The cold of the wind is as biting as the cold that freezes your heart over. You look at him, “You’re leaving?” He nods, explaining that he has a touring photography exhibit in Europe. He submitted more of his recent photos, the ones he is proud of. “I’ll be back, I promise.” On that same day, he presents to you a small cluster of jonquils, I return your affections. 

  A few days later, during the golden hour of Kihyun’s last day with you - “For now,” he reminds you - he pulls you into a hug. Then, Kihyun gives you a single rose in full bloom, I love you.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 2

part 2 wohoooo!! this is honestly such a cute story i love writing it, im currently finishing the last part so i’ll probably update very soon!

part 1

masterlist

The awkwardness soon vanishes. This clear new chapter we just opened with Shawn allows me to loosen up and just enjoy a nice evening. Aaliyah and Eric seems satisfied with the outcome, the parents seem to hit it off quite easily and when we leave they already start making plans for another meetup.

“It was so nice meeting you!” Karen sighs happily as she hugs goodbye to all of us.

“You too, email me that recipe you told me about!” Mom points at her and she nods her head laughing.

I’m just about to step out of the house when Aaliyah grabs my wrist and pulls me back. I look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“I need your help with a little something. Can you come over sometime tomorrow?” she whispers confidentially.

“Um, yeah. Around what time?” I ask.

“Three pm?”

“Sure,” I smile at her and she lets go of me.

On the way back home I’m thinking about what Aaliyah could need help with and the only thing I have in mind is Eric’s birthday that is on the 29th. She must be planning something special for him.

I call Maddi around midnight when I’m already in my pj’s, but I know she must be still up, maybe even drunk. For my surprise, she answers the phone quite modestly.

“How was the family union?” she asks chewing on something. I throw the cushions off of my bed and crawl under the blanket.

“Um, very interesting,” I chuckle closing my eyes and just shaking my head at the thought of the evening.

“Uh, spill the tea!” She cheers clearly very thirsty for some drama, though this story is not as juicy as she would want it.

“Guess who Aaliyah’s brother is!” I say, but I don’t expect an answer so I just continue. “Shawn Effing Mendes.”

“What?! Are you kidding me?” She gasps. “How did Eric forget to tell you this small detail?”

“Apparently, he thought it doesn’t matter to me, which is kind of true, but there is more.”

“What more? Did he hit on you? Because I’m not talking to you again if he did. He is hot!”

“No, he didn’t, but what you don’t know is that we have history.”

“Okay, now I’m confused!? How do I not know about this?”

“Well, remember my ex, Dylan? I told you about him.”

“Yeah, the asshole who cheated on you,” she hums.

“Well, Dylan and Shawn used to be best buds when we started dating, but the guy hated my guts, or so I thought. He was always mean to me, talking against me and just… avoiding me like the plague.”

“I thought he is the nicest person on earth.”

“He might be now, but when I knew him, he treated me like shit. So it was pretty awkward to see him again after all these years.”

“And how did it go? Was he an ass again?”

“No. He was… nice. Well, we both acted awkward in the beginning, I didn’t know if he would continue his act with me, but he turned out to be nice. And then at one point he told me he is sorry for everything in the past and he was just acting like that because he wanted to amuse Dylan.”

I turn to my side and stare out the window.

“That’s good, right? I mean, he grew out that mean phase and he is all good now.”

“Yeah, it’s just still weird to be around someone I knew from my Dylan phase.”

“But it’s Eric who is dating Aaliyah, why would you be constantly around him?”

“Aaliyah asked me to go over tomorrow, I think she is trying to put a surprise together for Eric’s birthday, so I’m spending the afternoon at the Mendes house.”

“Oh, then keep me updated about the details and sneak me a shirtless photo of Shawn please.”

“Maddi!” I scoff laughing. “Why would I even see him shirtless?”

“Maybe he likes wandering around in his home without clothes on, how would I know?!”

“Unbelievable. I’m going to sleep.”

“Bye bitch,” she sighs making me roll my eyes at her smiling.

“Bye.”

  I sleep late the next day, it’s past noon when I actually make it downstairs looking like a real human being. Eric and Dad are watching a documentary on WW II. while Mom is reading the newspaper at the dining table. I join her with a bowl of cereal.

“Do you have any plans for today?” She smiles at me over her narrow glasses as she turns a page. I lean closer hitting a confidential tone.

“I’m helping Aaliyah today, she asked me to go over around three.”

“Oh, birthday surprise for Eric?” she asks clearly excited.

“I think yeah.”

“Great. And you will probably see Shawn again.” Winking at me she puts the papers down.

“Why does that matter?” I ask with my mouth full. She caresses my cheek before standing up and walking over to the sink for some water.

“Isn’t he a nice young man? I think the two of you would look cute together.”

“Mom, you are literally talking about the biggest pop sensation, he is not really the kind of guy who just casually dates,” I say.

In my mind all these celebrities are living their wildest life. Even if I were interested in Shawn in any way, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even get in the game, he must have thousands of girls waiting for him in line. We are not really on the same page.

“Oh, come on. You guys knew each other in high school, you have a past, that connection must mean something!”

“He was an ass to me!” I blurt it out making her eyebrows raise.

“He was? What did he do?”

“It’s nothing,” I roll my eyes, but Mom gives me a demanding look. “He just didn’t seem to like me no matter what I did, he was avoiding me most of the time when I was with Dylan and also made some pretty rude comments sometimes.”

“Maybe he was into you,” Mom shrugs and I almost choke on the milk.

I start coughing like I’m about to die and my eyes start watering when I’m finally able to breathe evenly again.

“No fucking way!”

“Charlie! Language!” She hisses at me, but there is a smile hiding in her eyes. “You know, young boys tend to do it. They are mean to the girls they like.”

“Mom, it wasn’t in kindergarten, it was ninth grade or something. I think he just really didn’t like me back then and I don’t blame him.” I was annoying, thinking back at it. But hey, all teens are annoying!

“You can never know,” she sighs.

 I totally ignore the theory Mom tried to make me believe, there is absolutely no chance of the nonsense she told me, and this is what I keep telling myself as I’m on my way to the Mendes house.

“Hey!” Aaliyah greets me with a wide smile. She is now wearing some more comfortable clothes than the last two times I saw her, the grey sweats and lose white shirt must be her home wear. “Come in! My parents are out at a friend’s place, and Shawn…” she starts, but just when she is about to finish he appears on the top of the stairs.

“Is here,” he chimes in. I look up and there he is, in a pair of checked pj pants and a black shirt. Looking at it, I think Aaliyah has his shirt on, it seems like the same size.

“Hi,” I smile at him.

“Come, let’s sit.” I follow Aaliyah into the living room and we sit down to the couch next to their Christmas tree. From the corner of my eyes I see Shawn going into the kitchen and for a moment I’m actually disappointed he is not coming with us.

“So. I want to surprise Eric with cooking for him, but I have no idea what. I tried to find out what’s his favorite, but he says it’s his favorite to everything!” she growls frustrated. I shake my head laughing.

“That’s typical.”

“Yeah. So do you have anything in mind?”

“Well, he really like tiramisu. He can eat tons of it, all the time. That’s good for dessert,” I offer. Aaliyah has her phone in her hands and she is typing everything I say down.

“Okay, got it.”

“Um, he likes gazpacho. He thinks it sounds fancy and you know, he likes everything with ketchup, so a soup that tastes like tomato was made for him.”

“Oh yeah, he pours so much ketchup into his sandwiches, it’s crazy,” she rolls her eyes jokingly. “Okay, so gazpacho. Anything else?”

“Um…” I try to think about the times we went to restaurants and Eric got really excited over the food. “Oh, we were once at a place and he ordered grilled mushrooms and he couldn’t stop moaning, it was very embarrassing, but I guess this meant he really liked it.”

“Grilled mushrooms, perfect,” she nods to herself noting everything down. “Do you mind helping me pick out his gift too? I have a few ideas, I want to go into the city and buy it tomorrow, I already looked up some jumpers online, but I can’t really decide.”

“Sure, show me!”

We spend the next thirty minutes scrolling through everything she had saved as a possible gift. She found some really nice ones, her taste is fantastic. As the time is passing I’m starting to feel like I’m with a friend and not with my brother’s girlfriend and I’m just hoping Eric will keep her around for a long time.

She asks me to stay a little bit longer so she can show me the awkward photos she has taken of Erik since they’ve been dating, but she gets a call and excuses herself quickly. I stay there in the living room, looking around a bit, I haven’t really had the chance yesterday, I was too occupied with the situation.

Shawn walks in, this time he has a headband on, keeping his locks back from his face.

Damn, Maddi is right. He is hot.

I shake my head at the thoughts and try to look as casual as possible.

“How is the birthday planning going?” he asks plopping down on the couch next to me.

“Good, Aaliyah basically had everything right, I just had to choose the best options.”

“How crazy is that our younger siblings are dating? I mean, I was thinking about it yesterday, the last time I saw Eric, he was about twelve or something. No wonder why I didn’t recognize him when I met him,” he chuckles and I nod agreeing. Aaliyah changed a lot in the past years too.

“Yeah. Strange that they are not babies anymore. I mean, I’m still mad that Eric is taller than me.”

“Oh I remember how you always wanted to get taller!”

“You remember?” I ask surprised. I used to never stop talking about my height, later I accepted my fate.

“Yeah, I remember once you told Dylan how you want to wear the highest heels to the dance so you two can be the same height.”

I laugh at the memory. I remember it too, it was quite early in our relationship and Dylan asked me out for the Halloween dance. I wanted to look taller and told Dylan I would wear heels. Of course, I ditched the plan as I found out how uncomfortable they are and ended up wearing my Converse.

“And at the end I looked like a punk princess with my Converse and mini skirt,” I scoff at the thought of my outfit for that night.

“I think you looked pretty,” Shawn says and I look at him. I catch his small smile before he shakes his head clearing his throat. What the Hell? “High school feels so far away, right?” he quickly says.

“Um, well for you I guess, for me… not really,” I chuckle shaking my head. “Your life got turned upside down, but not much has happened to me since then.”

“What? I don’t believe you. I’m sure you’ve been having plenty of fun. Parties, dates and everything.”

I can’t help, a sad smile plasters across my face. He can’t be more wrong.

“Not really… I had some rough years after Dylan and I split.”

“Can I ask what happened? I mean, after the split,” he shyly asks.

“Well, since I was a dumb naïve little girl, I needed an entire year before I could even think about getting to know other guys. Now it all just seems like the biggest bullshit. I shouldn’t have cared that much. And I’m not a fan of partying, I only go out on birthdays and maybe New Year’s Eve,” I shrug. Maddi has been trying to boost me up a bit, she attempts to drag me out every month or so, but I’m really not that kind of type. I thought I was, when I was with Dylan, he was a popular guy, I kept going to these lame parties with him in the last year of our relationship, but I never really enjoyed them. Shawn was long gone by then.

“I’m sorry Dylan played you so bad.”

“It’s fine, I mean, not your fault,” I chuckle. “But what happened to you and him?”

He sighs scratching the back of his neck.

“Not sure, I guess we grew apart and I realized that he is an ass. When I became a private student we kept in touch, but I met new people and I saw how different a friendship can be, so… I cut him off, I guess.”

“Did you guys fight?”

“Not really,” he shakes his head. “Well, we had one last very awkward phone call when I was in Atlanta, if I remember right. It was forced and… just awkward, really,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“And your life has been better since Dylan is out of it, right?” I grin at him.

“Yeah, you must know about it.”

I laugh nodding. I know everything about it!

Before I could even think about what I’m saying, my mouth just opens and the words roll down.

“The only good thing I got from my relationship with Dylan is that I know you now.”

My eyes widen and I wish I could take it back.

“I- uh I mean…”

I don’t even know why I’m so nervous suddenly, I didn’t even tell much. But for some reason, I can feel myself blushing.

“I meant that he basically ruined my senior year and I needed so much time to get myself over him, but at least now we can talk like, normal people,” I quickly add somehow saving the situation.

“What do you mean he ruined your senior year?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows and I’m happy he didn’t get caught up on what I said before that.

“Well, he successfully made me push all my friends away, leaving me totally alone when we broke up.”

“Wait, what? How about that friend of yours, um… I don’t remember her name, you always sat together at lunch.”

“Rochelle. Oh Dylan played us dirty. He told me Rochelle keeps hitting on him and being my dumb naïve self I believed him and not her. We had this huge fight and I called her a bitch. No wonder why she didn’t care about me when I was alone in the last couple of months of senior year.”

“Ouch, that sounds horrible. I’m sorry he did that.”

“Why did we even like Dylan in the first place?” I ask laughing to myself. It still bothers me how blind I was, I wish I could just shake myself.

“I have no idea!” He sighs rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry your senior year got fucked up, I wish I could be there to have lunch with you.”

I turn to him and swear to God he is blushing! And it is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I feel the urge to touch him, anywhere, to take his hand in mine, but I stop myself.

“That’s… nice. Thank you,” I whisper touched.

As I’m staring at him I realize this is probably the closest I’ve ever been to him. I wonder how many girls want to be in my position, they see the popstar, the heartthrob from the stage, while all I see is the guy who used to be mean to me in high school but now we are friendlier than ever. I could never see him as a celebrity.

“Okay, so I found some- Oh am I bothering?” Aaliyah walks into the room with her phone in her hands and she is giving me a knowing look. I quickly clear my throat turning away from Shawn.

“No, you girls just… do your thing. I have to make a few calls.”

Shawn jumps up from the couch patting his sister’s shoulder before walking out of the room. Aaliyah takes his place, still grinning.

“What?” I ask her playing dumb.

“You guys… I felt the sparkle,” she says wiggling her eyebrows.

“What sparkle? Aaliyah, you see everything in pink because of my brother.”

“Oh stop, don’t tell me you don’t like him.”

“I don’t know him,” I say truthfully. “The last time I saw him I was dating a douche and he was also being a douche to me. I can’t tell if I like him, because I don’t know his new self.”

“But you seem to get along with him pretty well and I’m sure you are attracted to him.”

“I’m not talking about this with you, you are his sister!” I gasp feeling myself blushing again.

“Whatever. But I think you two would look cute together.”

I refuse to carry on with the conversation about me and Shawn and Aaliyah fortunately doesn’t force it on me. I leave the Mendes house around five, Aaliyah thanks me the help and I can’t help but feel disappointed I don’t see Shawn anywhere when I’m leaving. Aaliyah’s speech about me and Shawn is slowly getting to me.

By dinner, all my thoughts are racing around him and soon I find myself stalking his social media profiles. I knew he is very famous, but seeing the numbers on his pages makes me gasp. Millions of people are following him, waiting for him to post anything. The last photo he uploaded to his Instagram is with his family, Karen and Manny are smiling proudly into the camera while Shawn and Aaliyah are messing around next to them. Before I could realize what I’m doing I double tap the picture liking it.

“Oh shit,” I suck my breath in. I hesitate, but then I realize how dumb this is. He must be getting millions of notes every minute, he won’t see this.

Gaining some confidence from this, I decide to follow him and continue my stalking session. I’m a few months deep into his profile when I get a notification. Opening the tab my eyes widen.

shawnmendes followed charlieprkr

I guess I was wrong about the notification getting lost. A moment later I see that he has liked two of my photos.

One was taken on a family vacation. Eric and I are posing at the beach, I have a red swimsuit on and the wind is blowing my wavy blonde hair that was so much lighter back than from all the sunshine. The other one is a picture Maddie took of me last month. I’m sitting in our armchair with a mug of tea in my hands, smiling shyly at the camera. We had Christmas lights in the window and the lights made me look colorful in the photo.

I’m just about to put the phone down and go to bed when I get a dm. I’m not surprised to see Shawn’s username, but I definitely get excited.

shawnmendes I’m happy I’m not the first one to accidentally like your photo, though I was minutes away from that haha

I smile at the message rolling my eyes.

charlieprkr Ha. Ha. I was hoping I can easily hide in the millions of your followers.

shawnmendes You could have, if only I weren’t stalking your profile as well. Fate?

charlieprkr I guess.

My fingers linger across the keyboard, trying to think of something else to write and keep the conversation up, but nothing comes to my mind. I almost give up when I get another message from him.

shawnmendes I’m in a nostalgic mood, I want to have a walk in the neighborhood, around our school tomorrow. Would you like to join me?

My smile grows wider than ever reading his lines.

charlieprkr Totally.

shawnmendes Great! Sometime around 4 pm?

charlieprkr Perfect. Where?

shawnmendes I’ll meet you at your house and we’ll go from there.

charlieprkr Then see you tomorrow!

shawnmendes Yeah, good night Charlie.

[siodymph]

“The Before and After”

Hey there @pirably ! I’m so sorry this is getting to you so late! I can’t thank you enough for participating in the gift exchange, and I hope you enjoy my take on your prompt!

Feel free to read your story under the cut or over on my ao3!

“I can’t believe you!”

“What?”

Sighing, Stanford took a deep breath. His neck was starting to feel pinched from looking up at so long. “I said I CAN’T BEL-”

“I heard what you said! What’s not to believe?”

“Just… Everything about this! There’s no way this is safe!”

There was a long pause as Stanford waited until he finally heard Fiddleford respond. Voice echoing out from somewhere near the top of his gigantic creation.

“… Probably not!”

“Then why do you insist on working like this? Why put yourself in life-threatening danger!”

“Cause!” Fiddleford called back, huffing. “I work best directly with my hands. And there’s no way I could tip this darned thing over without risking it all breaking! All for some shiftin’ wires!”

“You could build something to help gently set it down then stand it again!” Stanford tried to add.

“Ugh! But that’d take even more time! Not to mention I’d have to build that first!” Fiddleford yelled. “Now hush up! I’m trying to work here Stanford!”

If someone were to see Stanford at that moment, they probably would have said he was pouting. But Ford would take to his grave if he had to. “I just want you to be safe…”

“I’m harnessed to the swing, which I rigged up myself! Checked the pulleys and everything this morning! I’m the safest I’ve ever been!” Fiddleford called out one more time. “And you’re one to talk! Where was all this fussing over safety when you were in Dr. Jenret’s class and you almost poured acid on yourself?”

Stanford could only smile and shake his head in response. As always Fiddleford was able to win him over when he least suspected it. As inevitable as it was, it still caught Stanford off-guard. Growing up there had been no one like that in his life. If he ever got into arguments or debates with kids they’d always either eventually concede or just completely give up. Or they’d just hit him out of annoyance. If it was his brother he’d do a combination of the last two.

At least Stanford used that excuse as to why after knowing the man for years now, he still managed to surprise him when they got into debates.

To this day Fiddleford was probably the only person he knew who could get him to shut up and see things from a new perspective.

So now knowing there was nothing he could say Stanford decided to just sit back and watch the show Fiddleford was putting on. The man may be stubborn as a mule, but he was equally as cunning and brilliant, and he certainly made a performance out of his larger-than-life projects.

There was no denying Fiddleford’s brilliance. He had the most engineering and mechanical skill out of anyone Stanford knew. Even better than himself, which was something he seldom admitted to anyone. But it was the truth. Fiddleford Hadron McGucket was by far the best of the best in the world of robotics. And anyone who said otherwise was wrong.

Just being able to watch Fiddleford work was a treat itself. As his creation came together it quickly collected height. So much so that he soon had to resort to rigged swings and climbing equipment to finish the job. As he worked up off the ground like that Stanford couldn’t help but think of those old photos from the 1940’s of construction workers building the first skyscrapers. So high off the ground, only a pair of overalls and a utility belt for protection, and yet seeming so at ease. There was almost a beauty in how effortless Fiddleford made it seem. A grace he had while swinging from rig to rig, climbing up the structure with his hands and feet.

But when the light hit his face just right and Stanford could see Fiddleford’s hair shine golden, body covered in a thin sheen of sweat from his hard work, Stanford knew in his heart his feelings for the other man hadn’t changed at all.

He found he’d only grown to love Fiddleford Hadron McGucket even more...

Two hours later, Fiddleford came swinging down. Overalls covered in a layer of grim, hair frizzled and frumpy, face red and sweaty, and a satisfying smile that just looked ethereal on Fiddleford’s face.

“How’d it go?” Stanford asked as he ran back over from his own work to meet him. Handing the other man a towel.

“Pretty good I think!” Fiddleford sighed gratefully as he started to wipe off his face. “Got that wiring all straightened out! Now all that’s left is testing her out!”

“That’s wonderful! We should test it now!”

“You know Stanford it’s a good thing I like ya so much.” Fiddleford said with a tired smirk. “Been up there all day, and as soon as I get down you want me to keep on working!”

“You know you want to see your new invention just as much as I do!” Stanford replied. “Don’t even kid yourself Fidds.”

Chuckling to himself, Fiddleford went over to his work bench and grabbed the remote control he’d built for this his invention. He let his finger hover over the main controls before looking towards Stanford.

“Hang onto your butts…”

All at once, the remote buzzed and the colossal machine burst to life. Inbetween metal panels, there was a bright green glow. Panels began to bend and shift. Massive wings unfurled from either side of the robot. For a moment the creature turned its head to look at its master. Green eyes glowing with a light that feuled it from within. Then after Fiddleford pressed another button the remote buzzed again and the creature tilted its head back at gave out a massive prehistoric screech that made Stanford’s entire chest rattle.

“Not too bad for someone who said they were moving onto computer-work only, huh?”

Stanford looked up at the massive mechanic pterodactyl in awe. “Fiddleford… Fiddlford that was nowhere close to ‘not bad’. That was… That was amazing!”

“Aw shucks,” Fiddleford mumbled.

“No, I mean it!” Stanford continued. “This is a piece of history in the making here. This won’t just change the world of animatronics, but the entire world of robots and engineering itself!”

“You really think so?” Fiddleford asked.

“I know so!” Stanford tried to contain some of his excitement, sometimes he could get rather loud when he got carried away. “And Fiddleford? I couldn’t imagine this being made by anyone else but yourself. You really did a… a fantastic job here. There’s no way you won’t take first place in Dawngrove next week!”

“Aw, I don’t care about none of that.” Fiddleford sighed as he turned off his robo-dino. “I’m only doing this for lil’Tate. He’s the one who asked me to do all this after all.”

“And I’m certain Tate will adore this too.”

“I hope so...” Fiddleford said with another sigh. Looking back up at his incredible invention. “Ever since me and the missus split I feel like I haven’t seen him as often. When we are together I gotta make it mean something. For the both of us.”

Gently, Stanford took Fiddlford’s face in his hands, pulling him away so they were looking eye to eye.

“Believe me Fiddleford, next week Dawngrove’s Robotic Royal will be a day no one could ever forget!”

Leaning in closer, Stanford kissed him. And closing his eyes, Fiddleford could feel himself relaxing.

Slipping away. If only for a few moments...

 ~~~

 Sometimes it truly amazed Fiddleford how everything was coming back to him.

At least physically if not completely mentally. He was still working on that.

He counted it as a small success though when Stanford showed him a massive mechanical pterodactyl and he got the inkling of a sensation that he’d seen it before.

Raising one hand up, he touched one of its massive wings. It felt rougher than he’d expected it to. No doubt the metal had eroded some after years of hiding it away in such an abandoned place.

“I know I’ve seen this fella before…” Fiddleford pondered out loud, still lightly rubbing over the metal as if that would help him reveal the answer. He knew he’d made robotic pterodactyls before but this one didn’t seem as familiar. It definitely wasn’t the one he made for revenge after his retirement-party-fiasco. “Did we make this together?”

“Not really, I just watched.” Stanford answered. “You made this one on your own. It was for this competition out in Dawngrove California.”

“Dawngrove…” Fiddleford said slowly.

“Yes, does that town sound familiar at all?”

Fiddleford hummed a little before shaking his head. “It ain’t there right now, but it’ll come back. I can feel it rattle’n around in there.”

Stanford seemed a little disappointed, but decided to move on. “Well you and I brought that in for a robotics competition. A battle royal actually. You ended up getting first place. Your ex-wife and your son even came and we all cheered you on.”

The mention of his son brought a smile to his face. The details over everything were hazy but he always knew who Tate was. “He would have been around eight or nine right?”

“Yes, he was nine!” Stanford said.

Fiddleford chuckled at the thought. “He was such a little squirt back then. Always hiding under that big mop of hair…”

Stanford grumbled as he looked around. He wished he had more photos from that day. In his experience with Stanley photos help jogged Stan’s memory the best. Unfortunately he didn’t have any photos from that day. He was however able to find a few newspaper clippings he’d held onto from that day. Carefully picking it up the fragile paper so it didn’t disintegrate, Stanford brought it over for Fiddleford to see.

“Look here,” Stanford pointed to the main picture under the headline ‘Super Scientist and Father Wins Grand Prize with his Dynamic Dino!’ where there was a black and white photo of the Pterodactyl back in its golden years. “If you look towards the bottom near the pterodactyl’s feet you can see a few figures. That’s me on the right, you on the left, and you’re holding Tate in the middle of us.”

The article itself was so damaged it was illegible. But Fiddleford could just make out their figures Stanford was pointing to in the picture. The picture was so old the image had begun to fade some too, mostly on the left side. His whole body was faded out. But with enough focus he could just make out Stanford and Tate’s faces. Both were beaming at the camera. Grinning with pride. Fiddleford realized they’d been proud of him.

“You two sure seemed happy…” Fiddleford said with a sigh.

“And we still are.” Stanford continued. “You have no idea how happy I am to be here with you. To have a second chance at making things right with you. With everyone.”

Fiddleford nodded but didn’t look up from the picture. As if trying to memorize their faces in case this memory never came back to him. When he didn’t focus as hard he could almost recall some things. Mostly phantom feelings. Like holding a giggling Tate close to his chest. Or swinging up on a rig, shouting to Stanford down below. Walking hand in hand with both of them…

“I’m happy I get a second chance too.” Fiddleford replied softly.

Eventually they’d seen everything they could and together, hand in hand, they walked back out of that old warehouse back into the world. They’d been in there reminiscing so long they’d missed sunset. It was already night and the moon hung low in the sky, darting out from behind trees as they walked.

Stanford’s six-fingered hand felt so warm in Fiddleford’s own. How he’d spent all those years alone, Fiddleford didn’t know, but now that Stanford was back in his life he knew he couldn’t bear to go back to the way things had once been. The world had changed so much, and they’d both changed so much with it. But Fiddleford could feel it in his heart that what they had between themselves was still as special as it was back then.

And when the light hit his face just right Fiddleford could see Stanford’s hair shine silver, and his eyes practically sparkling under the moon, Fiddleford knew in his heart his feelings for the other man hadn’t changed at all.

He found he’d only grown to love Stanford Filbrick Pines even more.

[cassafra5]

Road Trip to Boston Part 3!

We ended up booking a walking tour of Salem and made a point to check out the Salem Witch Museum! Because it was Veterans Day, the city made parking free so this was probably the easiest time we had during the trip. The museum didnt let us take photos but I did see where all those wax figures came from. No alpha deathclaws (which btw, someone actually has that question on google for this location. Imagine being some family dude and people asking about deathclaws in the museum out of context)

I saw this sign outside and already loved it.

We managed to find a few neat locations during our guided tour, including the town hall from Hocus Pocus and the site of the Salem Witch Jail (Gaol). When asked about how this city was during Halloween he said to imagine Times Square on New Years mixed with Mardi Gras with costumes. I couldnt imagine living through that every year in such a small place o_o!

We also got to see the Lyceum Hall (site of the first public long distance telephone call demonstration and apparently where Poe got heckled to death for reading Al Aaraaf) and the site of the area's first church. Both of them are restaurants now :D.

We visited the Salem witch memorial which was really neat. It was dedicated by Holocaust survivor and Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel during the Salem Witch Trials TerCentenary. The entrance had the last statements made by the victims and were cut off at the ends to signify that no one was listening to them and each bench had the names of the victims and how they died. The only one that was not hung was, of course, Giles Corey.

Afterwards we managed to check out the area and grabbed some lunch. Right outside we saw this tribute to Bewitched.

Im sure Hancock would be disappointed that Im more into mango lassi than the strong stuff.

There were plenty of Witch stores around that offered candles, herbs, and stones and spells surrounding us. One lady mentioned carrying some herbs with me in a pouch in my purse. Given my track record for things spilling or exploding in my purse, I passed.

We left and snagged dinner at a restaurant called Article 24.

We werent sure what the name was referring to but then we saw it. Kind of fitting, eh?

George found this graffiti in the restroom. Wow Boston, how poignant!

This was out final stop in Boston. It was lovely and we definitely do want to make it out there again and see more!

We got a lot of goodies, mostly from the State House giftshop (which wasnt too bad price-wise). George and @kirain ended up naming the lobster plush John Hanclaw from Goodlobster because of that and now i cant think of anything else to call it. And hey look, i finally have a tricorn for reference!

I hope these entries were alright to read through. Im new to blogging about this stuff but it was fun and hopefully i can do more at some point ^^.

[atlasiiae]

Apparently I spent all my good luck taking my bio quiz this morning because 

I decided that after lunch I’d go out and maybe take some photos at the local beach cause why not? It was pretty warm and it stopped raining and there was barely any snow so i was like hell yeah this is the perfect time to go out

so i get halfway out of the driveway when i realize i should check the tide charts and just my luck, high tide was about ten minutes ago at the time, so low tide isnt until 6pm

thats fine, whatever, i’ll just go back to my room and sit in bed by myself like always

but then i figure, even if i cant go out to the beach i can still take a walk on the campus trail and get some exercise and maybe a few good photos, so i do that

and i have a good half hour or so until i get to this one rocky clearing where i was gonna turn and head back and i took a second to stop and just chill out when i saw a deer

she just just standing there like a hundred yards or so in front of me and i was like

well shit i wanted to get a really good photo of something cool while i was out here this is perfect

so i go to switch over to my bigger lens to get a good photo but i only have two hands and it was cold so it took longer than usual but like

just as i got the lens on i look up and she sees me and just fuckin bolts

so i was super disappointed and started to leave when i decide why the hell not, i’ll try to follow her

so i follow her tracks for like a minute until they disappear and then just choose a random direction in which i thought a deer would go and after a couple minutes i was gonna give up cause i hit a big bunch of trees and didn’t want to try to go around and end up getting myself lost

but then

i fucking see her again and as soon as i lay eyes on her something made a noise and she fucking runs off again so i just leave for good this time and head back to where i parked my car

so then i’m walking on some ice and there’s a bunch of puddles everywhere so its insanely slippery and i think to myself “better be careful so i dont fall” and then i promptly start sliding when i step and almost fall flat on my back but i managed to balance myself, so im like, shit this is just a bad day now i’m just going to speedwalk back so i dont have to deal with this anymore

and then i hit another really icy patch but theres a pretty significant dip in the path that formed like an icy bowl so i tell myself

better go around so i dont fucking fall

and then i fall and land directly on my ass with most of my weight on my arm and now its sore as hell

so im thinking

this is awful im going straight back to my room and doing homework

so i walk back and get pretty close to where my car was parked and im thinkin to myself

man i wish that i’d get to the end of the trail and see another deer than i can actually get a picture of so that this trip wasnt a total failure

and i turn the corner and theres a group of like 5 or 6 of them just chilling there at the trail entrance and they. fucking. bolt.

as soon as they see me

so at this point im just so pissed at the universe but i tried to follow them and surprise surprise i couldnt find them again so i just left

so now im super disappointed and sore and my pants are soaked but hey at least i got out of my room for a couple hours right

[meatmeinthemiddle-mark]

🌵Flower Shop AU🌷

Hyunjin + Changbin

it's my first time doing this type of content so please reblog and put in the tags what you think and maybe i'll do more!!

and @versekiller wanted a HyunBin au so i gave her one

so changbin's family owns a flower shop

they live above their shop and its super cute

the flower shop is really popular because of that ONE worker

yes that worker is changbin

reason number 1 is bc he is always smiling

all the ladies (young and old) love him so much

HE ALSO WEARS A DIFFERENT COLOURED FLOWER PRINT SHIRT EVERY SINGLE DAY

it's because he doesnt want to ruin the perfect flower aesthetic image of the shop if he only wears black lmao

he started working in the shop during one of his school holidays and his mum basically persuaded him to continue working there bc he brings in so many people

okok so lets start

since changbin wears a different coloured flower print each day

he wore a yellow one one day

but it wasnt flower printed

IT WAS CACTUS PRINTED

he didnt know it because he had to open the shop early that day and was basically half asleep putting on his clothes

he was still doing a great job tho selling loads of flowers to the regulars that day

so changbin was minding his own business sitting at the front of the shop snipping off thorns from roses since there were lesser customers

he was lookin cute wearing his cactus shirt, his apron and his gloves

and he's got his own music (3RACHA obvies) playing in the background

something interrupted his flow

IT WAS A FLASH AND A CLICK

but changbin LOOKS AT THE DAMN SKY

why?

he thought it was lightning and that it was gonna rain

he has to pull out the shelter thingy over the flowers if it does rain

a precious dumbass

but the skies were super blue that day, not even a cloud in the sky

so changbin was like

Eh? Where did that come from?

He looked around before spotting another boy

The other boy was holding a camera and only wearing black

he basically stood out from all the other colourful shops in that lane so he was easy to spot

Changbin chuckled a little looking at the dudes bucket hat (hm i wonder who) but tried to cover it up with a cough

Camera dude panicked and almost dropped his camera

boi he aint slick at all

Changbin took off his gloves and wiped his hands on his apron before approaching the dude

(lmao he forgot he was snipping off thorns)

SO BASICALLY HE ACCIDENTALLY SCRATCHED HIMSELF BUT HE DIDNT KNOW YET

Changbin walks up to the dude and asks if he wanted to buy any flowers (his mum would kill him if he didnt do customer service)

Camera dude was all flustered and held out his hand

"NWLDJWONN SORRY FOR TAKING THE PHOTO OF YOU ITS JUST THAT THE SHOP JUST LOOKED REALLY PRETTY AND I HAVE TO TAKE IT FOR A PROJECT"

Changbin tilted his head back and looked up at the tall camera boy

"nah man its alright we get that a lot, do you still want flowers tho?"

AND CHANGBIN WENT TO SHAKE HIS HAND AND WHEN HE LET IT GO

THERE WAS LIKE BITS OF BLOOD

"Wait omg shit im so sorry i didnt know i scratched myself"

so here we have two boys panicking over blood before changbin's mum called

its not a lot of blood but if u shake someone hand with your own blood its kinda weird

"BINNIE WHO IS THAT, IS IT A FRIEND"

Changbin looked back at his mum and showed her his hand

But camera dude answered back "Hello Auntie, i'm Hyunjin and I think Binnie just cut his hand and theres some blood"

BEODSNDKN CHANGBIN BLUSHED BECAUSE CAMERA DUDE CALLED HIM BINNIE

"Bring him in the shop binnie"

SoooOooO camera dude followed behind Changbin into the shop to wash his hands

"Sorry for getting blood on your hands Hyunjin"

"Thats ok binnie" and Hyunjin flashed a really cute smile which made changbin all shy

BUT CHANGBIN TRYNA ACT FAKE TOUGH

"Please call me Changbin, my mum calls me Binnie just to embarrass me"

"But Binnie sounds cuter" is2g hyunjin is so smooth im gonna die

so they finished washing their hands and hyunjin looks around the shop

"Do you mind if i take more photos outside the store, the flowers are really pretty"

in changbin's head he's all like "Omg what is this dude on about he is even prettier than the flowers we sell oh my"

irl, changbin just nods his head and goes back to his seat at the front of the store snipping off more thorns

Hyunjin was snapping lots of photos of the flowers and the store and then he suddenly laughed

"Binnie you stand out from the flowers so much with that yellow cactus shirt"

Changbin was all confuzzled and hyunjin showed him the photo

The photo had changbin in it and all the flowers were behind him

changbin was the main focus of the photo

HO DAMN ITS A GOOD ASS PHOTO THO

"Hey youre a pretty good photographer"

"Well you are a pretty good focus point"

"What"

changbin turned to face hyunjin and OOPS

THEIR FACES WERE SO CLOSE LIKE IN THAT ONE EPISODE OF STRAY CUTS

Hyunjin has his eyes covered by his bucket hat so changbin couldnt see what hyunjin was staring at

TRUTH WAS HYUNJIN WAS TRYING NOT TO STARE AT THE PHOTO OR ELSE HE'LL GET ALL FIDGETY AND BLUSHY

HE WAS ALSO TRYNA LEAN AWAY FROM CHANGBINS PRESENCE

"Do you wanna bring any of the flowers home, if you wanna take more photos of them"

"Can I have some cactuses?" hyunjin asked bashfully

ok so if camera dude wants a cactus imma get him one so changbin looked around the store to find

hyunjin was lowkey disappointed changbin didnt get his pickup line

"Oh man, I dont think theres any cacti left tho" Changbin was super apologetic that he couldnt get cute camera dude a cactus

Hyunjin pointed at Changbin's shirt and waited for his response

CHANGBIN HAD TO PROCESS

damn he a slow one tho

So Hyunjin straight up said "Do you wanna get some coffee sometime?"

CHANGBIN.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Changbin: "You're not expecting me to bring flowers arent you"

Hyunjin: "I'll bring a cactus for you dont worry, are you gonna show up in another printed shirt?"

"maybe"

if u listen carefully changbin's mum is giggling at the background with changbin's dad

the next time they met changbin was wearing a black shirt with red roses on them

and hyunjin was still wearing the black bucket hat

HE FORGOT TO BRING A CACTUS BECAUSE CHANGBIN'S STORE DIDNT HAVE ANY

[swallowedthestars]

I saw super m live and ill post videos later but like.... CONCERT NOTES BELOW cuz im not over it

taemin? god, as expected. i wouldve paid the full ticket price just to see his solo stages lmfao and he did not disappoint at all it was so good i almost cried and im never getting over the fact that i saw goodbye live. he definitely puts a lot of attention into even the very smallest details of his dancing, he stands out as a very good dancer even amongst the other members. he also seemed pretty relaxed/laid back which i was happy abt. it made him seem very much like he had “Im good at this and i kno it” vibes (true!). fans also cheered the loudest for him a lot which i appreciated lol  

taeyong is gorgeoousssss in real life (they all are, its unfair lol). you look at his photos like “can a person look that good” and then u see his face in person and it’s just another level. his english is also super good and he sounds really confident too, he was very chatty and interacted with fans a lot, i think he almost talked more than mark did which imo i find incredible considering english isnt his first language. when the other members pointed out how sexy his No Manners dance was he got very shy.   

lucas is a puppy personified he has so much energy and had a lot of super fun interactions with the other members, his solo stage was super bubbly too. rare 2 see him without a smile. the other members seem to like babying him 2 lol. he also makes the other members look short, which is funny because i think the shortest member is still like 5′8 which is by no means short. his Bass Go Boom backup dancers also had an extremely cute dance and matched his vibe 

mark ofc as resident english speaker was in charge of doing most of the talking, and hes pretty awkward lol but we support. altho im super glad they had an actual translator there instead of making him translate for everyone bcuz ppl dont realize how tiring translating can be. he said that super m would be coming back to our area SOBS. its also obvious how hard he works at everything, he is a great performer in his own right and you can just like... tell how much effort he put into his solo stages and the choreo and his stage mannerisms but it also stresses me out a bit cuz i cant help but feel like hes probably overworked

baekhyun is not that short but he has v smol vibes. UN village was extremely good live. the other members like to cling to him a lot, he had taeyong and ten gripping both his arms at one point and taemin carried him for a tiny bit during With You. its very obvious they all like him as leader which makes me glad 

kai was shy but in a cute way, he seemed slightly embarrassed when he talked. idk why this surprised me but he has a very nice live singing voice? also 100% emits fuckboi vibes when he dances especially during confession. likes 2 flash his abs.   

but the person i really couldnt take my eyes off of and surprised me? ten. all of them are great dancers (Even baekhyun, a vocalist, was very crisp) but his dancing was especially immaculate, he’s able to pull of a super wide variety of styles. and? u can tell he just FEELS the music, he is constantly vibing along 2 whatevers playing and he was doing small little dances constantly. talent. he also had his titties out for new heroes. i think with a bit of time hes gonna be on par w/ taemin as a performer one day

also fun note, the members noticed that there were a lot of entire families at the venue and taeyong decided to thank the parents who came out by saying “I say thank you you say mommy/daddy” and making the stadium chant after him, which was obviously very spontaneous because it caught all the other members off guard lol. i was also happy that we saw all the lightsticks represented of nct, wayv, shinee, exo, and super m 

ALSO MY FRIEND CAUGHT A FRISBEE SIGNED BY MARK EVEN THO WE WERE SITTING IN THE NOSEBLEEDS they really put a lot of effort into distributing their little handouts well TT they also made sure to face every part of the stadium which i found very nice too, they put lots of thought into interacting with us 

[writing-gifts]

-reader and jonathans first meeting was beyond weird

-the day had started off normally. reader finished their shift at the restaurant they worked at and was heading home to get some well deserved rest

-on the way, they ran into an interesting man dressed in old fashion

-he even had a cool checkered top hat

-even though his clothing was strange, he seemed friendly enough 

-and reader didnt know why but they ended up kind of ranting to this man about some of the troubles in their life

-it wasnt really bad but it could get a little lonely at times

-then the man, mr. speedwagon, made them an offer. he told them that if they didn't want to be lonely anymore then they should visit some website

-he handed them a card with the url on it and then excused himself

-reader was extremely skeptical about this site

-mr. speedwagon said it would cure their loneliness? how could a website do that? was it a dating site?

-out of curiosity reader decides to check it out and finds an online shop. reader was even more confused than before

-and for some reason, reader decides to keep looking and clicks on the "figures" option in curiosity. many pictures of attractive looking people show up. were these like sex dolls?

-they looked so realistic...

-and they were super expensive...reader didnt have that type of money sitting around. 

-why were they even considering this right now?

-reader clicks on a picture that caught their eye

-the man, well doll, was really handsome, with dark hair and kind looking eyes. reader couldnt believe he wasnt a real. it was a little disappointing

-before reader leaves the website they notice some text under the photo: "3 day free trial"

-...maybe reader could try it out, just to get a closer look of course!

-reader decides to order the doll

-the next day, a giant box from the speedwagon foundation is delivered to reader's apartment 

-two suspicious looking men drop the box in the middle of readers living room, have them sign for it and then leave

-and when reader removed the wrapped doll from the box, they almost jumped

-they were questioning if this was really a doll. it looked too life like 

-and was completely naked...

-with a flushed face, reader grabs the instruction booklet that came with the box 

-but their eyes move from the book and trail over the bots muscular body

-from his chest to his arms

-lower...

-was this a dream?

-reader tears their eyes away and flips through the manual....it says android instead of doll.

-those existed? reader looks perplexed at the manual, rereading to make sure they saw it right...

-they pull out their phone and grab the card mr.speedwagon gave them off the desk

-after a moment he picks up

-"hey this is ____ the person you met the other day. yea i ordered one of those....f-figurine things and the manual says android on it?"

-speedwagon tells them that is in fact not a typo, and the giant man in their room is an android. and the manual will tell them how to activate him

-they meekly thank him and hang up

-reader turns to the next page of the manual and quick scans over it. to activate him they had to kiss him?

-this was a lot to take in. had reader known this was going to be an android maybe they wouldnt have got it

-...who were they kidding

-reader fans themselves trying to cool thier face down and looks over at the bot

-well they were already this far

-reader mentally prepares themselves and leans over the androids perfect face

-lowering downwards, readers lips meets the bots plush ones

-a muscular arm slightly moves and reader quickly pulls back

-the bots eyes then open and meets readers and they gasp. he was actually moving!

-he stares at reader for a moment before sitting up and smiling.

-the android tips his head forward in a little bow. "im jonathan joestar, whats your name?"

anyone ever read absolute boyfriend??

i read it years ago in high school and really liked it even if the ending kinda slapped me lol

i cant remember it completely but its good au material!

if i remember right

its about this girl who has had bad luck with boys and then she meets this strange dude one day, then the next day or so a a giant box shows up at her

and inside is this android

and its supposed to learn how to be the perfect boyfriend while under her supervision/ownership

anyways this android is naive but really sweet and the two of them start falling in love

but hey would you look at that, her child friend is also in love with her!

....even though he was picking on her before the android showed up

so now the childhood friend is like IM NOT GIVING UP THAT EASILY

anyways this kinda reminded me of jonathan and dio lol

cause jonathan is too gentleman-ly for me not to consider him perfect boyfriend/husband material

and dio is dio and would make his move last minute when readers head is being turned

so yea this is pretty much a love triangle between reader jon and dio

[halipawz]

I have been thinking about Pink Champagne cupcakes For a while now.  I remembered last year that a local grocery store (I think Hy-Vee or Cosentino’s Price Chopper) had them but told me they were seasonal and this was last January if memory serves me.      Why the month stuck in my head was because I would have thought they would be seasonal for February because of Valentine’s Day not in January    I recently went to the grocery store I thought had them last year but I didn’t find them.  The bakery department was closed so I could not ask anyone at the time. I had planned on going back a different day.  Fast forward to today when I was thinking about them so I googled pink champagne cupcakes in Kansas City.  It was in this search I came across 3 Women and an Oven bakery   After looking at the website for a few minutes I went through their Instagram photos and thought everything on there looked amazing.  The detailing on their cakes and cookies was beautiful. I was excited to try them.  Even though their location really isn’t on my way home or even close to anywhere I go I thought it would be worth the trip to try to make it before they close at 6 PM.   Their cupcakes are $3.75 and their babycakes ( mini bundt cakes) are $2.25. The products were nicely displayed and sparkled in the light.   As I was checking out, I saw where they sold the “fairy dust” to make your own cakes sparkle.

Pink Champagne cupcake from 3 Women and an Oven

I Purchased a small assortment of cupcakes and the baby cakes. I was excited to try them so decided to try one of the mini cakes as I drove home.  The first thing I noticed was the frosting was a little hard. I took a bite and could not believe how dry it was and the cake was cold.  I took another bite and yes, it was very dry. It was lemon raspberry so I was thinking perhaps the fruit affected the cake but you would think it would make it moister, not dryer.  I decided to try the red velvet mini cake.  It was also dry. It had a nice flavor to it, but was so dry it wasn’t enjoyable.

I decided to wait until I arrived at home to try any more.  I wanted them to warm up a little to see if it made a difference.

I opened the box when I arrived home and was disappointed to see the lemon candy had fallen off the Lemon Drop Cupcake.  The frosting was so hard I could only sit it back on to take a picture, I couldn’t place it back into the frosting. Now, I do want to point out, as someone who likes frosting, there is a nice amount of frosting on their cupcakes. It would be nice to see if it is soft when they are freshly made.

I decided to try small bites of the remaining cakes because I was afraid if I waited until the next day,  they would be too dry to even eat.

The mini carrot cake was next.  It was moister and had warmed up, but I have to say the flavor was lacking slightly in my opinion.  So far, my excitement over these cupcakes was dwindling and I hadn’t even tried the main reason for my purchase; the Pink Champagne cupcake!

Mini Almond Bundt Cake sparkling in the light

The almond cake was next. It was so cute.  The small almond sliver on top. The cake sparkled in the light.  The cake was moist, the frosting was dry, but the flavor was amazing! So far this was my favorite! I have to admit, even though I had more to try, I ended up eating the whole mini cake!

I decided to take a little break to avoid a huge sugar rush but knew I’d come back to them before the night was over.

After a small break, I decided I needed to try a cupcake.  I had been focused on the mini cakes because they were easier to try small bites of.  I cut a small piece of the lemon drop cupcake out, making sure to get frosting and cake.  It was very lemony   The cake was heavy and dense   The frosting was stiff and a little dry except around the cake   There it was softer and easier to eat. I placed the remaining cupcake in an airtight container to finish tomorrow at lunch.  One thing I would say, and this is just my opinion, but if there had been a little bit of lemon filling in the cake, I think I would have liked it a little more.

Next, I tried the mini pink champagne cake. I bought a regular cupcake and a mini one with the hope of taking the mini one to work the next day to eat at lunch. It was the only flavor I duplicated.  I took a small bite and was sadly disappointed.  The cake had a burnt flavor to it! While it didn’t appear to be burnt, it still tasted burnt.  I could not taste any of the pink champagne taste I remembered from the grocery store ones I fell in love with the year before.  Had I had this one first, I know I would not have driven 30 minutes out of my way to get more.  Oddly enough, it also left a weird after taste.  While I’m typing this I can still taste it and not in a pleasant way.

Now the time had come for me to try the Pink Champagne cupcake.  I had taken another break.  My palette was clean.  I have to be honest, I wasn’t as excited as I was earlier in the evening, especially after having the mini one but I thought, perhaps it’s a different batch than the mini one. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.

I do have to give them credit, the appearance of the cupcakes are beautiful.  The frosting looks delicious, the cakes sparkle.

I did not cut a small piece on this one.  I decided to take a bite the way a cupcake was meant to be consumed.  I took a bite, making sure to get frosting and cake. The frosting was moister than some of the other cakes.  From the size of the cupcake, it was difficult to get a bite from top to bottom, so the cupcake was a good size. The flavor was disappointing.  It had that same burnt flavor but I could taste some of the “champagne” flavor in the cupcake, which I could not taste in the mini cake.  I couldn’t tell if it was a burnt flavor or if the champagne flavoring was just off or maybe even old tasting.  I wish I could explain it, but it tasted old or burnt.  I did decide to wrap this one up in an airtight container as well and if I get a different taste tomorrow, I will definitely share.

Overall, 5 flavors and only 1 would I want to purchase again. The almond cake.  Perhaps if I was eating a fresh one I might have a different take on a couple of them, but flavor is flavor and some of them were lacking in that area.

I love cupcakes but don’t see myself making the trip to south Overland Park to purchase cupcakes from them again.  I have found other places around Kansas City who can do an almond cake just as good.  My quest to find an amazing Pink Champagne cupcake continues!

What are your favorite go to cupcake places?  Doesn’t have to be just in Kansas City, I’d like to hear your favorite place in your city!

  3 Women and an Oven – Bakery review – HaliPawz I have been thinking about Pink Champagne cupcakes For a while now.  I remembered last year that a local grocery store (I think Hy-Vee or Cosentino's Price Chopper) had them but told me they were seasonal and this was last January if memory serves me.     

[lifeisaboxofcereal]

No clue who this is addressed to, nor what the purpose of this is/will be, but feeling exasperated that nothing helps me feel better, how about I give venting via writing a shot.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been involved with this guy for about 5+ years. Lets call him owl. Its the first thing I looked at in my apartment trying to come up with a code name instead of publishing this guys name who any of you reading most likely already know his name via any of my fb posts in the last 5 years. I met him my freshman year at UD. Ballroom dance team. To this day I dont even know if I can explain what drew me to him. He was cocky and confident, cheeky, and cute. He danced. He was a Marine. He seemed so out of my league as a dorky, naive, super awkward freshman that didn’t know anything about college culture. I learned quick that a few dates does not mean we’re dating, and that he was a man of many many ladies. I learned quick that he did not really take my feelings into consideration but I would put them aside and accept any interactions or affections that were given. We had a connection and I had fun with him. I just wanted to go with it.

I went with it for all four years of college. Always waiting for when he’d finally be ready to commit. Or see how much I do for him. How I’m always there, good times and bad.  Even when he really really pisses me off. Waiting for him to see that I was his best friend the way I saw that he was mine. Waiting for him to stop messing up with me, appreciate me, cherish me, want to show me off.

I’m gonna be honest, that never came. Not in college. I didnt date anyone else. I didnt get involved with anyone else more than a few months, and those involvements were usually the product of me and owl being in one of our phases where we were on the outs and he was not talking to me. but once we were good again sure enough I’d lose interest in whoever it was that I was entertaining in that time. I regret a lot of that. Not giving others real chances, because they actually deserved them and wanted them.

But with him it was always like a game, like a chase, never ending, suspenseful, thrilling, exciting, passionate, never a boring moment. Always keeping me guessing. I hated it but I loved it. He didn’t respect me, and he didnt respect my feelings, but still I stuck around. It’s only now that I’m seeing that I had slowly been losing respect for myself, so what incentive would he have for respecting me when I was being a hypocrite? Our dynamic was one of push and pull. There were the times he’d pull me in and never want to let me go, and then without warning he would push me away and leave me feeling abandoned and confused as to what I did to deserve it.

He hurt me a lot. Never physically. Never. Never forced himself on me, I never once was physically scared of him. But emotionally. Every year there was at least one incident. One big fight that seemed like the be all end all. That would leave me in my dorm crying with my roommate wondering how he could be so cold and harsh towards me after everything I’ve done and everything we’ve shared. Always wishing that he would miss me and realize everything and change. It was a clear cycle, and I’m not stupid, I was very cognizant of it, but idk, i liked it and i was still waiting. What I had with him was so different and special I couldnt let it, or him, go.

Last year, October, we had a big falling out. That was really the be all end all. I knew because, and as stupid as this is or sounds, in all of our fights we had never unfriended each other on facebook or done something as extreme or defining as that. We always left doors open. But with this, he burned all bridges. He made a facebook status about me. He wanted all of my things out of his place. He 100% snapped. It was over, he broke things off and our 4 years of being together but not really together, was over.

I spent the next 5 months in therapy and trying to keep busy with friends and classes and trying to find myself again. So much of my identity was dependent on him and associated with him. All of my memories included him. Even dance reminded me of him. I was so lost. And missed him so much but had motivation to work on myself and for once be comfortable and happy with being on my own. I remember one particular session with my therapist in which she told me that if I still have hope that we will reconcile one day, I need to completely let go of what we had. Put it to rest, let it go, mourn it, and leave it in the past, because there was too much to be fixed and too much wreckage to salvage anything. That if we were to ever reconcile it would have to be a completely clean slate. Free of the past transgressions. So that night I blocked him. I blocked his number, his facebook. his snapchat, everything. It was hard and scary but I did it in hopes that thats what I needed to do even if temporarily and symbolically leave our 4 years together in the past.

2 days later was Valentines day. I was supposed to go to a devils game with a friend and she cancelled last minute because she was sick. I reached out to everyone in my phone to try to find someone to go with me because I did not want to spend valentines day in bed thinking about him and missing him. Nobody could come to the game. I was offered a shift at work and almost took it but someone hopped on it before I could. So i was left with chinese food and netflix. I let myself cry and be upset, and feel the hurt remembering our past valentines days together. And then my mom came to my room and let me know that jake was coming to the house. shit i said his name. whatever. she let me know that he asked permission to come and clear the air, and that he would be there in 40 minutes.

He was there in 30, and we sat down, with my best friend as a third party, and we talked for 5 hours. About everything. Anything. All the grievances we had with each other. What we realized. What we regretted. And he told me that he loved me. That he needs me in his life, and said all of the things that I had waited 4 years for. I kept thinking about how right my therapist was, about letting go and letting them come to you, about starting fresh, about leaving the past in the past.

The months that followed were the epitome of a honeymoon phase. My god. we were finally doing things right. He was showing me off, appreciating me, never wanted to let me go, it was everything. I dont think I’ve ever been so happy. We were so in love with each other, so excited, couldn’t wait more than 2 weeks to visit each other again. We moved in together. We made an apartment a home together. We started new jobs and set goals. We motivated each other, supported each other, and wholeheartedly loved each other. I finally felt like I was in a functional and healthy relationship. I felt so loved every single day and I finally understood what people meant about that unbelievable feeling of being in love with someone who was just as in love with you. We did and learned so much together. We had setbacks, and tiffs here and there, but we worked through each one.

Theres a lot in between then and now, but I don’t think it’s worth getting into or explaining. All I can say is that I don’t know how we went from that, to this. Not speaking. Not looking at each other. An apartment that was once so full of love and laughter now only has silence and tension.

He has problems. And to be honest. I’ve always known that but never wanted to accept it. I have problems too because I am very compliant. The relationship became emotionally abusive. I am mentally abused. And he has left me hating myself when I dont even know who I am. I don’t regret staying with him. I don’t regret getting back with him last year. I dont regret anything. All i’ve done is love and give as much as I possibly can. Im not angry. More than anything, i’m disappointed.

I thought he was it. Actually. I know he is. If he were to get the help that he needed. But in a normal relationship, when there is an issue, you don’t feel that your partner becomes a completely different person. That’s not normal. And right now, I don’t know who he is. For the past 2 weeks I have been wishing I could just snap him out of it. Grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Show him a photo of us and see him come back to me. I have written heartfelt letter after heartfelt letter. Debating giving one to him in hopes of softening him up and coming out of this haze of anger and hatred hes in right now. But thats not normal. I shouldnt have to snap him out of anything. I shouldnt have to wish he’d come back. I shouldnt have to plead and beg for him to remember our good times to soften up. None of it is normal. He dissociates. And when i look at his eyes hes not there. I know this sounds dramatic but it’s true. It’s scary, it’s hurtful, it worries me, but it’s true. He completely detaches, and it’s as though he never knew me. As though we never shared a single experience together. And nothing I do can bring him out of that place. As I write this, I feel like I’m writing or remembering someone that died. And thats because essentially, that is how I feel. the man i spent the past year with loving and learning and GROWING died. He’s gone and I dont know why or where he is. And i’m left with this fraction of myself that doesn’t know how to cope with any of it.

He’s not good for me. Its not worth it. I deserve better. I’m going to be so much happier without him. These are all words that an infinite number of friends or loved ones can say to me but the fucked up part of all of it is that I don’t want better, I want him. I know that I will never be able to fully let him go. It’ll never be fully over. And i will always love him. I care about him more than I care about myself. Which is a big part of the problem.

I don’t know where to go from here. Or how to cope. I don’t know what to do. All i know is that I miss him with every fiber of my being. I can’t open my phone gallery because the last photos I took were with him and I can’t look at them. I made a new facebook to run away from it all. Nothing I do makes me feel better. Friends. Work. Gym. Margaritas. Movies. Its all a distraction from missing the person who made me smile ear to ear every morning, and exhale peacefully every night. Even now as I write this, hes walking around the apartment and its as though Im a ghost. He doesnt see me. Acknowledge me. Notice me. And while I used to see him and feel overwhelming love, I now just feel hated. Complete hatred. As though I ruined his life, when all I ever tried to do was make his life better.

So friends, that is my story. I don’t know how it’ll end but I can tell you for sure that I will never be able to hate him or be angry with him. And I will always love him. What comes next for me, I have no idea. I thought writing all of this out would maybe help me have some sort of epiphany but no epiphany came.Sometimes I wish I could have my mind wiped clean of all of this so I wouldnt have to deal with this pain. But I cant. So this is going to suck. For a long while. I’m going to be upset for a long while. I hope at the end of this I can find myself and be a version of myself that has value and pride. I want to be the Bren that loves herself, respects herself, values herself, and is proud of herself. The bren that marched on washington for womens rights in the world needs to march for her rights in her life. More than anything though, I hope he finds himself. I hope he does what he needs to do. I only ever wanted him to be happy. Even if it was at my expense.

[carasueachterberg]

Flannery is about to enter her sixth month in OPH care which makes her a ‘long-term dog’.

photo Nancy Slattery

Currently, up to 30% of the dogs on our site are ‘long term dogs’. There’s a reason why each dog got that label and it certainly doesn’t mean those dogs aren’t good dogs.

It’s just means that these dogs don’t fit the cookie-cutter mold of what many people consider a desirable dog. Each of these dogs will need an intentional adopter who is willing to continue training the dog and understand how to manage the dog. This person will need to be patient and loving and committed. He/she will have to respect the dog, listen to the dog, and set the dog up for success.

As I write these words I realize that they describe what every adopter should be doing.

In our fast-paced world where we’re so comfortable outsourcing much of our lives—from meal-planning to lawn care to wine selection, we’d like a new dog to fill our home with love and joy and no extra work or mess. We’re disappointed if the dog isn’t house-broken and crate-trained or pulls on the leash. We expect that the dog will be good with other dogs, tolerant of cats, and friendly with all kinds of people. We want a cuddly dog, who already knows commands like sit and stay and down, and certainly, we can’t have a dog who barks excessively. The dog should have plenty of energy to play, but not so much energy that they bounce off the walls, leap on visitors or tackle the two-year-old. Oh, and the dog needs to be young and cute and just the right size.

Don’t get me wrong there are a few dogs that fit that bill, but truly, most don’t.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of not having been exposed to those things and with the right introduction, training, and patience, many dogs will fulfill those ideals. But some dogs won’t. It could be their upbringing or their breeding, or it could just be the personality of the dog.

[SIDEBAR: And, for the record, how many of us are so perfect?]

I spent nearly a year with my last ‘long-term dog’ and she is still in foster care now with a different foster home, a year later, having been adopted and returned. Gala is a gorgeous girl who tugs on my heartstrings every time I see her face pop-up on Facebook.

The depth of love and smarts in that dog still echoes in my life. She needs the right adopter and it breaks my heart that there has been no one willing to give her a chance in all this time, because landing Gala in your life would be like winning the love lottery, so complete is her devotion.

Flannery, like Gala, can be complicated, but like Gala she is also an absolute love, completely devoted to the people in this family. She has plenty of happy energy and is easy to train, but needs assistance negotiating the human world, mostly because, like Gala, she is so darned sensitive and smart. She notices things that other dogs might not and reacts to people with her whole heart, both traits that can overwhelm her.

For instance, I took Flannery to an adoption event on Sunday in a small, busy, crowded pet store. She did really well for the first twenty minutes.

Flannery is a small dog and couldn’t see beyond the piles of cat trees, people legs, and store shelves that surrounded her.

Consequently, each new person surprised her and this was terribly exciting. Her tail was on full speed wag and it was all she could do to give me a few ‘sits’ as I tried to distract her from the activity and dogs around her. Her adrenaline sky-rocketed when two little boys approached and she slathered them in kisses, leaping up again and again for attention, before collapsing in a puddle beside them.

Eventually, though, the high energy and stress of meeting person after person got to her. She grew tired of the constant hands reaching for her and began to growl a low warning. That was my cue and we made a hasty exit. I knew she wouldn’t take her fear any further, as long as I heeded her request.

That growl said, “I’ve had enough. Even though I know this is all terribly exciting and part of me wants you to rub my belly and let me lick your face, the other part of me is overwhelmed by processing so many sights and sounds and smells. I need a break.”

The pictures and video of Flannery’s time at the event all document a happy little pup, lapping up the attention, but had we stayed much longer the pictures would have shown a much different dog. Because I know Flannery and because I listened to Flannery, we came home and had a perfectly pleasant rest-of-the-day.

So, is Flannery people friendly?

Absolutely. But Flannery has a limit to how much stimulation she can process. Flannery will need an adopter who knows this about her and who will listen to her when she’s had enough.

I think adopting a dog is a bit like getting married. You choose your dog/mate because you love this other soul, but you know (or should know) going in that there will be times when you will not love everything about the dog/mate and you will need to take a step back and figure out how you can help them and how you can co-exist.

Maybe your mate doesn’t like a houseful of noisy guests, maybe that stresses him/her out. So, it works better for you to meet your friends out at a bar or to go away for a weekend together. This doesn’t mean that your mate doesn’t like you to have friends, it just means you need to be respectful of your mate’s needs. Because your mate can tell you these things, it’s clear when change is necessary.

[SIDEBAR: When your mate doesn’t tell you these things, the car can begin to go off the rails…]

This works the same way with your dog. Maybe your dog finds meeting new people stressful, so you crate your dog when friends come over. You let your dog hear, smell, even see the people, but you don’t force your pup to meet them. Maybe your pup will be ready to meet them after the hype of entry has ended, maybe not. This does not mean you don’t have a good dog, it simply means you are being respectful of your dogs’ needs.

Sadly, the high number of long-term dogs in OPH care is a reflection of the fact that few people are willing to figure out how to manage a dog that acts outside the boundaries of what we expect. Dogs are not machines, though, and even the easiest dog needs your respect and effort. They love us with such complete devotion and in return deserve our respect and willingness to adapt to their needs.

The amazing thing about both Flannery and Gala is that neither really needs that much management, and the unbridled devotion you receive in return is off the charts. Both of these girls are funny, smart, quirky dogs who will adore their ‘person’ until the end of time. Once more, they both make exceedingly entertaining company.

photo Nancy Slattery

Photo Nancy Slattery

photo Nancy Slattery

OPH has begun exploring ways to better market our long-term dogs to help them find their forever families. They are offering more free training, more support, longer trial adoptions, even reduced fees for these special dogs. We want adopters to know that we will not desert you once the adoption takes place—we are invested in your success and the dog’s.

Finding homes for long-term dogs is a challenge that all rescues and shelters face. It’s a problem that only grows as we strive for a no-kill nation. Saving all the dogs, including the ones that a little more complicated will require effort and education and adopters who are open to a dog that is not a cookie-cutter pup.

And the thing I know, that all of us who have fostered a long-term dog know, is that the risk an adopter might feel they are taking in adopting one of these pups, is not a risk at all because all these dogs need is a little understanding and in return you’ll get a lifetime of love.

The bottom line when it comes to dogs and to marriage and to life is this – the more time and love and effort you invest, the bigger the payoff.

If you’re ready to make an investment, you can find Gala, Flannery, and many more incredibly amazing and absolutely adoptable dogs at OPHRescue.org.

Thanks for reading!

If you’d like to know more about my blogs and books, visit CaraWrites.com or subscribe to my monthly e-newsletter (which is rarely monthly, but I’m working at it…everybody needs a goal).

If you’d like to know more about the book, Another Good Dog: One Family and Fifty Foster Dogs, visit AnotherGoodDog.org, where you can find more pictures of the dogs from the book (and some of their happily-ever-after stories), information on fostering, the schedule of signings, and what you can do right now to help shelter animals! You can also purchase a signed copy or several other items whose profits benefit shelter dogs!

If you’d like to know how you can volunteer, foster, adopt or donate with OPH, click here. And if you’d like more pictures and videos of my foster dogs past and present, be sure to join the Another Good Dog Facebook group.

I love hearing from readers, so please feel free to comment here on the blog, email carasueachterberg@gmail.com or connect with me on Facebook, twitter, or Instagram.

Best,

 Cara

Released August 2018 from Pegasus Books and available now

    Risk Worth the Reward: Long Term Dogs are worth saving #dogrescue #itsnoteasy but it's #worthit Flannery is about to enter her sixth month in OPH care which makes her a ‘long-term dog’.

[ggukl-remade]

can u explain what the yongguk situation is? i don't understand it at all and i've read a bunch of threads/posts :(((

ok so if people dont know who yongguk is: yongguk was on produce 101 s2 and he didnt get to debut in wanna one. but he was loved by fans and due to fan demands he debuted in group called jbj with other 5 guys. before that he debuted in unit called “longguo&shihyun” (longguo is his chinese name) and now he debuted solo.

few days ago it started with dating rumor but frankly no one cared about that because worse shit got revealed. like his private instagram and situation with his cat lucy (rcy).

i wont talk about his dating rumors bc … lmao its quite obvious, even if he dated who cares?

ill start with lucy situation because its more complex, messy and disgusting. 

it started because fans found rcy at shelters multiple times, contacted choon ent (yongguks agency) and yet they received no info. 

rcy was yongguks first cat and she was adopted. then yongguk adopted tolby and kagu. choon ent said rcy and kagu couldn’t get together and rcy had many scars so yongguk decided to give her away to new owner (which is quite dumb because??? lucy is ur first cat???). choon ent said they couldnt contact the  owner until september 25th and now rcy’s under the protection of another shelter now.

this is a whole different story now, since yongguk said rcy is with him now.

choon didnt specific when they gave rcy away, but she was seen on a shelter’s website stated as a STRAY CAT on july 27th. meaning she wasnt with yongguk since july.

even if lucy wasnt yongguks cat anymore, he still included her in the photocards, albums and photobooks. in september/october, another shelter started posting photos of rcy, where they said they (unknowingly) neutered her again, which left her with a stamp on her ear (shelters do this to differentiate neutered cats to unneutered cats).

fans started to notify choon ent about it and finally, choon ent took lucy back during chuseok. but everytime they posted pic of lucy, they cropped her ears so the stamp wont be seen. yongguk sent a flower wreath to jbj95’s showcase on the behalf of tolbi, rcy, kaguunlike how he completely forgot about rcy during fansigns.

fans revealed info about how yongguk didnt really took care of his cats.

tolbi and rcy were taken care by a house keeper, and then shihyun took care of tolbi and rcy during produce 101. during jbj he brought cats to the dorm, knowing some members (taehyun and sanggyun) have allergy and he never took care of them to the point hyunbin had to sleep with mask on and finally decided to take care of cats himself.

even jbj members talked about how yongguk NEVER groomed his cats and that they shed fur everywhere. and while many fans (including me) laughed at how lucy and tolbi are more attached to hyunbin rather than yongguk, it finally made sense. hyunbin was the one taking care of cats and yongguk used them just as his >concept

luckily the new owner of lucy posted and said lucy is safe with them. probably choon ent gave her away again.

instagram stuff

yongguk has private instagram and its so messy lmao. fans should stop saying ‘’its not his account!!’’ because yongguk confirmed its his…….

he posted pic of signing jbj album (true colors) with caption that can mean ‘delusionals’ (x)

posted a script from jbj uniform king with the caption “who wants it???” and then comment saying “i definitely wont do it” when the script mentioned jbj coming back @ season 2. uniform king was filmed long before jbjs disbandment. (x)

other said he posted pics of himself drinking or doing drugs but i didnt find the screencaps so im not sure. just throwing it here tho.

other gross behavior

throwing away fan gifts (x) (x) (x)

fansign fanacc that said ‘’doing a fansign for 100  is urgh and everybody is like the mother in law that keeps on bitching’’ (i saw translations that went ‘’grandmother’’ too) (x)

yongguk didnt attend jbj amigo filming and fans were worried, but it was revealed he drank too much with his ex girlfriend

shot hyunbins life-size banner/standee (x). hyunbin was sad he couldnt take a pic of the banner because yongguk has been using hyunbins face as a shooting target. fans picked it up near jbjs dorm.

during fantasy era he threw out the cat stickers his fan created for him (x)

yongguks relative missed him so much they came to fansign venue just to see him but yongguk didnt even bother to show his face and threw sanggyuns banner instead. (x)

during a fansign he called a fan ‘noona’ because according to him she looks 33 (x)

drank underage and was a frequent visitor of sexist club (x) (x) (some people dont see drinking underage as a problem but .. just throwing it here because still, it is pretty controversional for some)

based on his ex-girlfriend’s instagram, they were together till late on the 3rd of march, but on the 4th he tweeted that he couldnt celebrate hyunbin’s birthday because he had been too sick to move away from his bed (x)

this???? (x)

his cursing while playing overwatch (x) (again, some ppl dont find it controversional but … just throwing it here because k-joyfuls frequently mention it)

when leaving the show, yongguk and his manager pretended like they were going one way and then suddenly did an ILLEGAL u-turn, shocking all fans there to see yongguk for less than 10 seconds. yongguk and his manager were seen laughing after doing the u-turn  (x)

misogynist yongguk (x)

misogynist yongguk: more explanation (please remember suckjin is his overwatch / game ID) (x) (x) (x)

 i think i mentioned everything. obviously k-joyfuls post more info but its not translated. if you want to read more then type 김용국 @ twitter. im truly disappointed because i was (and still am) a joyful so its like .. a stab to the heart ?

[audreyineu]

budapest 4/6-4/7

getting to budapest i knew my time was limited, i only got a day and a half there, so i tried my best to hit the ground running. arriving at the hostel i found that check-in did not begin for 2 more hours though, so that kind of stopped me, but i just used the time to get some food. using that lovely little app called google maps i found a small pizza shop called pizza manufaktura and had a hawaiian pizza (pineapple on pizza is GOOD just accept it already). i also had some cherry juice, which was really good actually. i’ve never really seen fully cherry flavored drinks outside of icees, so that's definitely something that america needs to work on. i also discovered that the hungarian word for cherry is meggy. nice. 

i still had an hour to kill after that though so i tried to go find an atm and accidentally walked into the nagyvásárcsarnok, or, for english speakers, the great market hall. it’s an actual full-blown market where people bought their groceries

like people actually came here and picked out their meats, got some vegetables, maybe some spices. it was so cool to see. yeah sure i’ve been farmers markets back home but this was fully someone’s grocery store and it was just interesting to see the difference

the upstairs part was for the tourists and had a bunch of handmaid souvenirs, sometimes the person was sitting out in front of the stall sewing the cloths like the ones in the picture (its blurry, sorry)

there was also a basement-like area and i’m pretty sure the budapest black market operates in it. i’m on a pacific rim kick right now because of the sequel (which wasn’t that good but that’s a different blog post) and if you’ve seen the first one, i really felt like ron pearlman was about to walk out of a secret doorway and offer me some kaiju bone. it was honestly kinda scary, no one was really down there and most of what was being sold was meat and HUGE fish that they kept in a really really small tank, which i’m not really sure would be considered humane? but i guess they were there to get killed so. i’ll let peta deal with that one. 

i wanted to get a picture but the guys behind the stands were very big and also staring me down every time i passed. i decided they wouldn’t like the tourist girl taking pictures of their very compact fish.

anyway, i went back upstairs and bought some cookies, isler and puszedli. isler was a cookie covered with chocolate with jam in the middle and puszedli was a kind of gingerbread muffin type thing covered in a chocolate or vanilla frosting (chocolate was the best one for me). they were both really good but i gotta give a special shout-out to the isler. 

after that it was time to check in so i got changed out of my travel clothes and tried to figure out what to do. i decided to take one of those hop-on hop-off tours, which i typically try to avoid like the plague because i’m not a fan of blatantly shouting out to a place that “hey i’m a tourist!!” but, i had a limited time and those are good to see a city quickly

i rode around for a while. now consider these photos were all #shotonaniphone7 and taken on a moving vehicle so they're not great but.. its what i saw . budapest is pretty darn cool

i got intrigued by a set of stairs looked a bit italian, so i got off on the next stop, and that was definitely the right choice. i found myself at what i think was the bud castle (turns out budapest has two parts, buda and pest separated - i think - by the danube).

to get up you could either walk up a hill or pay to take a little tram car. i obviously chose the tram car, i can walk up a hill any day

all of the museums and the castle were closed by this point (it was around 6), so i couldn’t go in, but the views from up top were stunning

so i roamed around a bit

and started heading in the direction of the stairs that made me get off the bus in the first place. i wasn’t disappointed. it was a really cool little area, and felt really romantic. being there just kinda made you happy

and because i knew how to get back home from the liberty bridge, which was about two bridges down from where i was, i decided to walk back along the river (i took an evening stroll next to the danube!! how cool!) to the bridge to get back to my hostel. 

in my room i met a really nice girl from finland, she’ll come back into the story later, and got ready for bed for what i wanted to be an early morning so i could see as much as possible

of course this didn’t happen, i had a snorer in my room which kept me up so i slept through my alarm and didn’t end up leaving until 11. but it put me starting my day at lunchtime, and i’m not gonna complain about that! i found a small little restaurant called drum cafe who were known for their lángos and goulash. their menu was a trading card display book, which i loved, and i ordered from traditional beef goulash with rice

it was amazing. so so so good. i maybe ate it embarrassingly fast considering how much food there was but it was amazing, i didn’t want to stop eating it

after that i stopped in a small thrift shop i saw on the way there in hopes of buying the shirt that was on a mannequin in the window, but sadly the shirt was “only decoration.” i did get two shirts there anyway

after i decided to walk over to the house of terror, a museum about the facist and communist regimes that held power in hungary and honoring those who died at the hands of those in power.

on the walk there i found a little antique market going on in an alley 

i almost bought an old hungarian swimming medal because why not, but i decided against it. there were all kinds of cool little knick knacks, but i restrained myself and began to actually walk to the museum

pictures were not allowed in the museum (i snuck one of the entrance) so i don't have any (except for the one i snuck) but the museum was increibily interesting. its one thing learning in history class about stuff that went on in eastern europe in the 40s-80s but its another to actually BE in a building where people were kept and tortured, a building where the arrow cross party (a nazi party based in hungary) and the state protection authority (the soviet secret police force in hungary) actually operated. it was. very very solemn. reading about life in that time and seeing the faces of all those who were killed. you ended the museum tour in the basement where the cells were and it was terrifying in there. maybe didn’t help that i was completely alone in the cells at that point, but it was so silent and dark and i think absolutely perfect to demonstrate how horrifying the experience would have been to be one of those prisoners. the doors to the cells weren’t even barred, they were fully solid. you wouldn’t even be able to see outside if you were shut in. every cell was solitary confinement.

so i left the house of terror and decided it was time for something a bit lighter and headed to the széchenyi thermal bath

yep, its THAT yellow building that you see in everyone’s pictures when they go to budapest. it was really nice and relaxing, though i gotta say would probably be better with a group rather than alone. i did meet some people there, but not the same as being there with friends goofing off, so i’ll have to make a return trip

afterwards i decided i’d get on the hop-on hop-off bus again since the man the first time never actually took my ticket and got some REAL hungarian lángos on my way there (if you remember i had some at the easter market in prague) and OH MY GOD was it good. the dough being freshly deep fried makes ALL the difference oh my god. literally just handed it to me out of the frier. i got it with cheese again and honestly i wish i’d just gotten it plain because the cheese took away from the dough. so, so good. it is a lot though, so if you ever get one i recommend that you get it to share

i got back on the bus and road around a bit, i really just wanted to get a better view of the parliament building

i got it for a little bit! not long enough to get a picture because i sat on the wrong side of the bus, but damn that's a beautiful building

i rode until the stop closest to my hostel & got off so i could pack up my stuff. i had a 6 am flight (i just got back to bristol as i’m writing this) and i wanted to be sure i had everything for my 3 am departure time to the airport. while packing my roommate from finland came in & we started talking and she invited me out with her and another guy in the hostel to go to one of the ruin bars called szimpla kert.  i thought you know what, we’d be out till around 2:00, why not just stay awake till i need to leave for airport and have a little fun doing it. so i booked a minibus to take me from the hostel at 3 am with another girl at the hostel and we set off to this ruin bar and 

WOW

they were playing a movie on a huge screen outside??? there was a room with a piano so people could just play music and sing?? there were so many different roms with different vibes and it was absolutely amazing . i wish i could have stayed longer! it was what every little hipster bar in williamsburg (brooklyn) is trying to be and god now that i’ve been to this bar i don’t think i’m gonna be able to go to another bar ever again 

after a night filled with singing (i WAS hanging out with two singers) we headed back at two so i could grab my bag and meet the other girl to leave for the airport and i made it with no problems. 

was i incredibly tired by the time i got on the plane? absolutely! but i had a fantastic time with some really cool people. and with that i’m back in bristol and ready to have some dinner. so i guess closing remarks? plan but at the same time don’t. let there be some spontaneity because spontaneity caused some of the best parts of my trip. also, WALK EVERY WHERE (if you can)

thanks for reading!

audrey